Getting Calm and Staying that Way.

Breaking the cycle: the calming breaths.

There’s another description of this technique in the processes section. You might like to read that as an overview of how it can be used for confidence. But here’s how you can calm yourself in the time it takes to take just three breaths.

Recall at least three situations in which you’ve felt really calm.

Think of a time when you were ‘in flow’ with what was going on; a time when you felt very relaxed, perhaps on holiday; and a time when you were very much at peace.

One at a time go back to each of those times. To start vividly imagine being in the first situation; see what you saw then, hear what was around you then, and remember any other physical sensations – the feeling of your clothes, or any special aromas.

As you do that you’ll notice the feeling of calm or peace coming back – concentrate on that feeling as much as you can. As you begin to feel the feeling peak, take three deep breaths.

Now think of something else. Anything will do, as long as you change from the state you elicited. Then repeat the process for the other two memories, breaking between them.

The calming breaths are working when you feel a genuine flood of the calm and peace as you take three deep breaths.

At another time, you might like to think about situations where you need to be calm. Go back to them, again imagining the situation that you don’t feel great in, and as soon as the feeling you don’t like starts to come back, take the three breaths, filling yourself with calm.

You should find that the calm arises when you find yourself in the unhappy situation again, or at least you’ll be reminded to breathe deeply three times, bringing back the good feeling.

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