Women spot rivals for their lovers attention before the men notice them, the research says, and then monitor their mate’s reaction carefully. And men of course accompanied by very attractive women are used to the wave of distraction they cause among other men, and act appropriately protectively.
And paying too much attention to members of the opposite sex isn’t a good strategy for keeping a relationship happy. Cheating, after all is one of the most common causes of marriage break up.
But keeping too tight a rein on your partner can also stress the relationship, according to new research.
If you love someone set them free is apparently true. Or perhaps ‘look but don’t touch’.
Being inattentive to attractive relationship alternatives can enhance relationship well-being. The current investigation, however, demonstrates that implicitly preventing people from attending to desirable relationship alternatives may undermine, rather than bolster, the strength of that person’s romantic relationship, according to C. Nathan DeWall of the University of Kentucky.
It’s the forbidden fruit effect, he writes in new reesearch.
Subtly limiting people’s attention to attractive alternatives reduced relationship satisfaction and commitment and increased positive attitudes toward infidelity, increased memory for attractive relationship alternatives, and increased attention to attractive alternatives.
Findings suggest that although attention to attractive alternatives can harm one’s relationship, situations that implicitly limit one’s attention to alternatives can, rather ironically, increase the temptation of alternatives and undermine relationship well-being.